Hi I just graduated Parsons and shocker! I can't find a job or internship so I'm unemployed. Lol I'm thinking about just skipping all that and opening up my own small online retail business of just my designs. Any advice you would give for someone just starting to open their online clothing business?

That’s what I did!! I would say that it helps to grow your online following and relationships before because it helps you get some starting business when you open, and some valuable opinions and insight to what people who are into your aesthetic and style are actually wearing and buying— it is a skill in and of itself (that I think many designers have) to be able to observe all this and see what is missing that they might want, and then create it and put it up for sale! Also, just not giving up is the biggest piece of advice you must rememeber- it will not take off right away and you might need to take a part time job while you start up. I worked retail at a high end alternative clothing/ costume shop and did a paid costume internship while starting up my Etsy, so there is no shame in that! You need to start supporting yourself somehow! But I did live with my parents while I started up my business and worked part time, so not having the huge pressure of putting all my time towards working for my living was a wonderful privilege I had. If you can still stay at home and get some support from your parents, I would suggest doing it the way I did- a part time job or paid internship somewhere sort of in your realm of interests or career path WHILE you start up your business and just start making the items, testing them out, and experimenting until you see a pattern of growing interest and then orders and then more orders. 

It is a process, so patience is a virtue! Don’t waste your time, you can do it if I can, I never thought I would be a business woman!

i just want to thank you for answering all of my asks i've bothered you with. believe it or not, you have helped me soooo much. i hope to one day be able to meet you and thank you in person. you've helped with relationships, anxiety, depression, and more. Plus, you're a HUGE inspiration!!! Thank you always and forever.

nah but for real, thank you for letting me know that I helped. It’s why I do this, I want to help those who ask it of me but I am not always sure I’m actually helping. Thank you.

First up, I can't even deal with love much I love your blog, it is the perfect combination of kawaii and axe-weilding-madman. A while back I read a post that you wrote about being photographed while you were out shopping, and how even if you're just popping down the road you should always wear whatever the fuck you want, if it makes you feel fabulous. Anyway, that post totally spoke to me, but now I can't find it! Can you pretty please post the link to it so it can inspire me all over again? x

yaaaaassss, thank you hunty. I think it might be filed under “me to you” which is a tag I use on some of my personal writing posts meant to be advice-y or helpful to my followers, you can search that tag on the right side of my blog. But yeah, that’s the sentiment- always dress like you might meet someone amazing with a great opportunity for you, because you just never know! No day is ever a waste of makeup or a cute outfit if in wearing it you felt more fabulous as you went about your day. Who cares if you impressed anyone or not? It’s really about you owning your own look and using it to help you feel and be your best.

Any advice for moving in with a partner? My boyfriend and I are planning on moving in together soon. Not so that we can get married soon, we are both way too young for that, but so we can share a life together and have an optimal living situation. (We both don't like our respective roommates and want to save money.)

Well here’s the thing: are you okay with the fact that you guys might break up before the lease is up? are you okay with the fact that moving in too early may end your relationship, is saving the money worth that? I don’t mean to sound super negative, but in my experience and from observation, young lovers moving in together don’t tend to last simply because the dynamics of your relationship change drastically when you are both sharing a personal home. It really is a test to the relationship actually. I was with my first serious boyfriend for almost 5 years before we decided to move in together after saving up for like half a year after college. We broke up after living together for like 6 months. Living together was not necessarily the reason we broke up (not at all, I don’t think) but the fact remained: we broke up while we shared an apartment, so to ameliorate that situation we had to go through a whole process with huge headaches and ongoing issues.

He moved out and I was left with this 1 bedroom apartment that I had intended to pay half of the rent on, now with the full rent to pay on my own every month. I don’t want to break my lease which will make renting future apartments more difficult, so until early next year I have to pay this very high rent on my own because I initiated the breakup, and to be honest some months I am so frugal with money that I hardly even go out or treat myself to anything extra because I am paranoid about having enough for the rent, bills, food and metrocards. 

My advice is to plan and have a plan for worst case scenarios, i.e. a breakup. Consider it like having a pre-nup conversation; not necessarily romantic and pleasant but smart and responsible. You don’t want to move in with someone, have something happen between you two (it can happen to even the strongest relationships), and be stuck in a super shitty, anxiety causing situation on top of the stress of a breakup. So just be open with your dude, be rational, and you do a lot of private consideration about if you truly feel like moving in with your boyfriend is the best idea right now. It does not mean you don’t have a great relationship just because you don’t feel 100% sure about moving in- don’t rush this, it is a very serious thing.

what would u name ur children

Jack for a boy, no doubt about it. For a girl I have no idea, I’ve always loved ‘Daphne’.

Mandy, just wondering, when will your Etsy shop be available again? I was hoping to browse and buy some things.

I’m not sure when I’ll be taking any custom orders, but I am putting up some of my extra stock soon! And hopefully I’ll work up to taking a couple orders a day. I just had to close in anticipation of my full time job, so once I get in the groove of things there I will see how I can operate the shop without getting overwhelmed or having any delays. Check back in on the shirts that are already made this weekend!

Would you consider posting pictures of your apartment? I'm desperate for inspiration right now and you're the most esthetically inspiring person ever to me

Dollface!!! To be honest my apartment is not nearly decorated as I envision it minus my bathroom, I have been here over a year and still haven’t had the time to dedicate to doing it! But I do have firm plans for my bedroom that I WILL be starting soon:

I want to paint the walls bright white; my bedframe, desk and big wall mirror are already slick black so it goes with my monochromatic idea. The moulding on the floors and around the doorframes/ windows will be slick black, almost like a cartoon line. I will paint long scrumptious black drips off my rococo-esque mirror to look like the paint on it is melting, and do the same for my black framed photo of Marilyn Monroe. I want to hang colorful vintage christmas lights (the bigger ones that were popular in the 50’s) along the border of my wall near the ceiling; the focal point of my room will be a big, bright white bleached reindeer skull (saving up for it!) that the Christmas lights dip down to entangle in the antlers then go back up to the ceiling. My bedspread is black on black and striped with matte and satin black; I want bright red fuzzy throw pillows with one big realistic eyeball bead in the center each, and they pick up the color of the lights. I already have a standing floor lamp that is silver and with 3 long bendable “arms” with lights attached that look like a Tim Burton robot; the door handles/knobs are also matte silver. The inspiration for my bedroom is mainly from The Nightmare Before Christmas (Jack falling in love with Christmas particularly) with a more sleek, modern art touch. 

I have no idea what to do for my living room/ kitchen space other than RED. DEEP RED WALLS. All my furniture and tables are slick black, and I think it will go with my kitchen set which is a little 50’s diner inspired round table with 2 stools and my vintage Kit-Cat clock on the wall. 

My walkway/ entrance is very small, so it’s going to be very intricate with handpainting on the walls. I think white walls with black hand drawn spirals of various sizes on one side, and a huge uninterrupted spiral on the other (that or black with white cartoon “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure” type eyeballs painted all over like there are a bunch of different cartoons in the shadows, and the two parallel walls that are basically just closets will be black. On those walls I’m hanging my mini theatrical posters for “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane”?, “Clue” and “Frankenstein”.

My bathroom is adorable, I posted pics on my blog that I’m too lazy to fetch, but they’re there, maybe under my artwork? It’s cute and pink and weird, my theme is derranged 50’s teen in the 90’s.


RE: Your answer about posting nudes. Okay so what about people who post porn to their personal blogs?

I can only speak for myself when I say this: there is a fucking time and place for porn, and I don’t think it’s on your public personal no-theme blog that everyone and their dog can see. I think hardcore porn should be left on porn sites where there are some regulations and restrictions and not just anyone can stumble across it, including kids who don’t have the developmental tools yet to understand what they’re seeing or process it in an informed and healthy way. Really my biggest problem with people posting hardcore gifs and pics and vids here all willy-nilly is that kids do have tumblrs and can follow older people they think are cool and they can see it and it can effect them negatively if they don’t have perspective or information, which they probably don’t since schools don’t really talk about porn and many parents do not. 

I get that people want to use their blogs to show every single bit of their expressive selves, but I think that’s actually a problematic symptom of the culture of the internet and the social web. So narcissistic and entitled and desensitized and dehumanized and I know I get shit for critiquing it but I don’t care, I know what I believe and stand behind it. 

TLDR; don’t post hardcore porn here and expect me to keep following you, it’s obnoxious and I don’t give a fuck what turns you on because that is your goddamn business and maybe I’m a prude or whatever, but if I wanted porn I’d go to one of the million porn sites that are online. I think it’s tacky. Post elsewhere.

I'm 23, I was i school studying broadcasting, then forensics and then art and all of which I'm extremely good at but I honestly am not happy. Im not longer in school and I feel fucked; I don't know what to do with myself or my life. I'm pretty good at a lot of things but never great at just one thing and it's making it real tough to decide my career choice. Any advice on how I can fall out of this acute depression and get my shit started?

You are 23, everything you do that doesn’t go according to plan will make you feel fucked in a bad way. If it’s any comfort, I don’t think that there is or was ever a 23 year old who did not, most of the time, feel like they didn’t really know what they were to do or doing with their lives or themselves. It’s normal, so at least stop worrying, and use that knowledge to know that this means you will make it and find your path- you just need to not stand in your own way. Seriously, you just do it. You start at the very first step towards where you think you wanna be today (and no pressure dude! The path you start on is not going to lead you exactly where you expect anyway so fuck it! Let life guide you and have your own dreams, motivation, and wisdom guide you! 
Also, don’t keep doing the same shit you’ve been doing and expect different results. You gotta make a change and don’t put so much pressure on yourself to know what’s gonna happen once you make that change- change at this point is good, trust your gut and your judgement and your abilities and you will truly be fine. Get excited for the adventure!!

What do you think of people posting nudes on their personal blogs when they are not paid for them/ professional adult model types? I think youre the least judgmental person I know of here, genuinely interested in your opinion.

Look, my philosophy is this: if you can think of ONE person in the world who you just would NEVER want to see whatever it is you’re thinking about putting on the internet, DON’T DO IT. I don’t care if that person is your great nana living in a ranch style nursing home in Tuscon, hooked up to all sorts of IV’s and is basically just shooting the shit with the nurses every day until she dies which is probably any minute now: what goes on the internet stays on the internet forever, is always traceable to you, can be seen by absolutely anyone, can never really be erased, and that is a type of permanence that requires a lot of thought, reflection and good judgement. Now some people may be perfectly okay with a future job employer coming across old tit shots they took to put on Tumblr- they might not be in the position where something like that might be detrimental to their careers or lives. Good for them! But most of us are not living in that reality and need to exercise good judgement and caution and respect for how things just are. If you don’t want to work as an adult entertainer of any kind, get your fucking bits off the internet and don’t do it again.

Now, if things were leaked or stolen without your permission, that is an entirely different story and the blame is not on the person whose privacy has been wrongfully invaded, but the fuckface who invaded said privacy. However, the reality is that many employers don’t care enough about the circumstances which nudes show up of potential employees, which leads to my final advice: just don’t fucking take and send them. Wait a god damn minute, be patient for once, and do the naked stuff when you’re in front of the other person(s). Call me old fashioned.